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I feel depressed. In me i am shaking my head, what did i do wrong, i don't understand why you give me this kind of look as if i am a scary person and pretend im invisible as i walk past you.
Is it because my presence make you feel pressurized? what you say and what you do is 2 different thing. If there is anything wrong with me at any point of time, just tell me, i rather people scold me or insult me directly if i does mistakes rather than keeping to themselves and distance away from me. I am simple, too simple till i lost my sense of what should i do, or what is right to do.
I seek understanding, i seek comprehension of thoughts, i seek for people who are willing to share about themselves so that i can understand them better.
Things doesn't happen as you wanted them to be.
ignorance is bliss/ illusive reality
8:13 AMcouldn't agree with it better.
A world/human has its both good and deceitful sides, and most people would only show the good positive sides of them, things only shows as events happened, lurking out their other side of them. That is why it is good to hope that your life is normal, peaceful, quiet. But humans sure are ironic, while hoping nothing to happen, at the same point feels its too bored, when things happen, they hope its the opposite. When they show the other side of them, on the other hand feels things shouldnt happen, and they push the blame on the events happened and not they themselves.
we are always living in an illusive reality, assuming identities as part of our everyday life. When we go to work, we take upon an identity of an staff, compromising and meeting the demands of customers, schooling, as students who strives to complete the assignments given, with friends, where identity as a friend to share your thoughts, happiness with one another, so does taking all these identities change who and what we actually are? How well does one or the other influences and impacts on their distinct social behavior? Are we performing these actions to suit our identity at certain points of time? Are we in a society of deception? is this what we were forced to become, or what we hoped to become?
The world we see in televisions are never the same as what we experience in reality, media itself is a powerful tool to inculcate propaganda/intentional messages to the public, thus none would want to show the true side of them, perhaps such as a documentary film i saw recently, Zeitegiest Adddeum or something, which offers and explains a theory of deception and possible hidden facts of how the U.S government manipulates the world leaders into 'corruption' in search for financial profits, and how possible assasinations, 'intentional terrorism and war' came upon, such as the war of iraq, where there is a possibility of u.s overtaking the country just solely for a show of dominance power as well as the rich oil prices control. All these are uncertain, but however after watching the documentary movie, i felt it might be true, and once again, ignorance is bliss, for you has lesser things to worry about.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Destinied one?
12:08 AMWas it considered love at first sight? or its just me thinking around.
I needed time to find out. For i have a different aspect to look in life now.
Everything remains unchanged. I changed.
What i have changed, would it be good for me, would it not.
Would i still dare to face my fear and nightmare again, the fear of losing someone.
Could I forget everything and start again,
Could I become alive once again.
Would you become the meaning of my life?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
School.
9:53 AMI have not been going to school for the past 5 weeks. Its time to get back on feet.
Stressed.
But. I will go to school From Now On.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Dying.
2:09 AMI know i am dying soon, theres so many things i want to do before i die. But i guess time just dont permit me to do so. Im weakening day by day.Though i want to enjoy my last remaining times with my good friends, just cant bear to see them leave me. I wonder if my body could even last me.
Its better for me to be left alone.