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Here i am once again, writing again.
Basically did nothing over the weeks, school didn't interest me even though its a new term. Somehow i felt things were amiss.
What am I feeling? The same feeling everytime, everyday.
I used to think that I am always strong, stronger than anyone,
clever, clever than everyone,
was i?
maybe not.
But it feels good to think that you're stronger and clever than everyone, isnt it?
perhaps.
still the strongest falls, falling every second to darkness as time past.
time does age people isnt it, how happy would i be if theres no such thing called time and aging.
Looking back again at my life, i began to question myself, was i worth this life? did i do my best in everything? did i really enjoy as much as anyone else possibly could?
Answers kept trying to come out, but deep inside me i tried not to let them out, maybe this is what people call, afraid of reality.
All people have their past, i have mine too. All people experience happiness, sadness, sorrow, me too. But it seems that i experience sadness and sorrow more than happiness. However i guess its more of an regret that makes it this way i guess.
I regret, I regret i didn't study hard enough to get good scores in the past. I regret that i didn't laugh my heart out when i was with friends. I regret i did not perform well enough in pri sch basketball, I regret that i did not went for basketball in sec school because of my emotions, i regret that i wasted my sec school life doing nothing but fooling around. I regret i didn't visit my pri school teachers and sec school teachers on teachers day, I regret that I did not cherish my relationship with michelle, whom i admired since primary school. I should be blamed for my own mistake, for what i have done. I dont deserve any forgiveness, nor shall i forgive myself.
I regret i did not take initiative to continue being friends with jacky, kenny, haisheng and raphael. I regret i spent too much on games and dont recognize any time management.
I regret that i regret all of these. But whats the point of regretting all of these when all these cannot change back to what i imagined it was, yup, it is impossible. All i could do could only be dreaming the way i want it to be every night. so at the least i could savour the minimum happiness i could have.
How i wish time can turn around, i dont mind dying few hundreds, or even thousands of times just to make things right. How stupid could i ever be.
Whats the point of going to university, getting certs when they don't mean a thing to happiness.
In the past, I used to think that friends are nothing, not as important. They dont bring fun, its sufficient if i could make myself happy, because my past friendships has never been as good always. I guess i was wrong. but what could i say.
Thus, i began to look for another alternative, to replace what I have lost. Animes.
Animes really made me happier. There are comedy animes, like Gintama, there are action animes, D-gray man, naruto, soul eater, there are also romance animes, like itazura na kiss, there are sad but romantic animes, like chrono crusade.
Animes replace things you never get to experience, or replace feelings you never or couldnt get. They bring satisfaction and happiness to those who watched it, they touch your life. I get to laugh, cry, get excited whenever i want, watching those anime. Its better than nothing right?
No matter how you look or regret, theres no change to things that already fact. So for those readers who accidentally came to this small corner of mine, remember! you are given the power to change fate, don't wait for fate to change you! Time is limited, cherish it.
oh ya, new song.. Ending Theme of Itazura Na Kiss, original anime of taiwan drama 恶作剧之吻. Best of Anime romance.