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Looking back, i think its past 10months or so. Although those days seemed to be living by me everyday.
Had a long sleep today, just wake up from my 3hours of sleep. In these 3 hours it all seemed like a movie, and I was the person viewing it. Don't know where to begin with.. but what I first saw is the fish&co, where its the first time im dining there with her and the rest. The rest takes place in dunno where, i've never seen that places, nor do I recall it, but it was sweet.
Those 3hours really laid down everything I had. Gaining all those that I lost. I really hoped those 3hours could stop its time and let me cherish it forever. How I wished.
In the end, I woke up in despair, separating virtual from reality. So much feel like crying, so much felt like dying. All left was me stunning there for a couple of minutes.
The feeling of happiness being taken away from me really was unbearable, agony. But what could I do, could someone show me a road of direction.
My mind is in a blank, when I close my eyes words are floating everywhere, like rocks on outer space. Where should I begin..? How should I begin..
Being through a painful memory of childhood, I still could hold. However this made me suffer a total loss. With nothing to hold on to. Only with myself to be blamed.
I always tell others to work hard, strive forward and don't look back, yet I myself couldn't do it.., a failure I am.
Even the best falls down sometimes.
All humans makes mistakes. I really hoped to get a second chance. Yet something is holding me back, Confidence. I dont have the confidence throughout the 10months to talk to you even. All I could was to silently look at how you're doing through these months. Afraid to hurt you again.
Someone enlighten me. Someone give me a second chance. Someone give me hope. I really hope.
I may seem strong on the outside, maybe all percieve that, but this is not me in real. I'm just another small figure in this world.
Maybe what I could is to watch by the side those happiness people had, perhaps this would make me feel better..